In Safe Hands

I just finished reading an insightful book by Dr. Jean Twenge: iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood. She defines iGen as anyone born after 1995. These are the kids who increasingly grew up with the Internet and screens and have no understanding of life without them.

One of the many interesting (and in my opinion very accurate) observations she makes is that the iGen generation is extremely safety conscious. She cites the decreases in alcohol consumption among teenagers, many of which have their first drink in college. She cites the decrease in their sexual activity. She also mentions their intolerance of views and opinions contrary to theirs because they make them feel unsafe. In fact, all these behaviors which many of us take for granted as adolescent temptations, today’s teens are increasingly avoiding because they believe they are threats to their physical and emotional safety. Drinking to excess can lead to one being out of control and vulnerable to others’ dark intentions. Sexual activity can get one emotionally entangled, so why risk it?

Of course, on the surface of it, mostly these are good things. What parent wouldn’t want their kids drinking and having sex less? Yet, as Twenge observes, and have I, this elevation of safety in kids’ minds is one of the factors in the rapid rise of anxiety among teens. The fallen world by its very nature threatens our sense of safety. Dangerous people lurk to harm us. There are school shooters and people killing people in what had always been considered safe places, such as churches and grocery stores. Playing in the neighborhood park or street is no longer safe because of bad people. Car accidents happen all the time. There is a sense that no place is safe except perhaps home. iGen kids go out less and when they go off to college, Twenge says, they want the campus to be more like home, a place of safety.

So where does this fear come from? Obviously, as we tragically saw last week, there are real life events that threaten kids. They are subject to school shooting drills in school. They can often see (in some states) armed individuals assigned to protect entrances at churches. And abducted children always make headlines even though it is a statistically rare event. So, it is understandable that kids are more anxious. Yet, this isn’t the whole reason.

The parenting world of the past two decades has been obsessed with safety. As a result, they limit their kids’ taking risks of any kind. In my years in campus ministry, I had many conversations with parents about the safety of their children on our mission trips, both domestic and international. Sometimes they asked me to guarantee their safety. I couldn’t, but I always assured them that we worked with people who knew all about any potential dangers and would do their best to keep us out of those situations. Still, there were times when parents refused to let their college-age children participate because they were afraid that they wouldn’t be safe.

I have long said that the key to laying a solid and long-lasting spiritual foundation in your kids is to live out a life devoted to Jesus and trusting him as Lord. What do we teach our kids if we are continually afraid something bad is going to happen to them if we aren’t there to protect them? Are we the only ones who care about them, who can protect them?

My wife and I are in the middle of selling our home as part of our transition out of campus ministry. Anyone who has ever sold or bought a house knows it can be a very stressful process. We received two competitive offers and struggled with which one to accept. Both had their strengths and weaknesses. We shared our struggle with several people, including realtors and former realtors. These were people we trusted; yet some of their counsel was the exact opposite of the others. So we went to the Lord, and he reminded me of Peter and the other disciples in the boat when Jesus came passing by walking on the water.  And then he led me to see this encounter, not from Peter’s perspective, but from that of the other disciples. What were they thinking when Peter started to jump out of the boat? “Are you crazy, Peter? Stay in the boat!” “Hey bro, go for it and see what happens.”  “If you’re going to do this, at least let us row closer to Jesus before you do.” Of course, the story ends with the Lord saving Peter from drowning because his focus turned to the wind and the waves and away from Jesus.

My wife and I were tempted to focus on all the advice we were receiving. Jesus reminded us to fix our eyes on him because we were in good hands. Let him guide us. And he did.

Jesus is called many names—Savior, Lord, the Lion of Judah—but one of the most heartening names is Shepherd. In our western minds, we often picture a shepherd with his sheep and a herding dog behind protective fences. This was not the experience of Middle Eastern shepherds in the 1st Century. There were no fences. There were no herding dogs or other protective animals working with the shepherd to protect the sheep. It was only the shepherd there to fend off any number of predators. Jesus called himself the “good shepherd.”

“The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:11-15)

In other words, we can trust him with our lives and those of our children. I admit this may be of little solace after the events last week in Uvalde, TX, but living a life in fear, either for ourselves or our children robs us of the joy and peace the Lord wants for us. I do not think the abundant life the Lord says he desires to give us is full of fear and anxiety. Sadly, I believe that is what we are passing along to our children.

When Jesus was breathing his last, he said these final words, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:44) He trusted his fate to his Father in heaven. We can do likewise. We can trust our lives and the lives of our children are safe in his hands. Even if there is tragedy that awaits them, knowing the Shepherd is looking after them should give us a great sense of peace. And if we are at peace, our children will grow up to be as well.

© Jim Musser 2022 All Scripture references are from the New International Version, 2011.